i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
