Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She even gives head with a lisp.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
