david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
third nipple confirmed
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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