...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
