Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
A bitchslap is in order.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
