He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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