There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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