we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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