He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
