God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize