garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
We need to feng shui this bitch.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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