I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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