If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
