Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
