epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
