she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
