Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I wear drunk well.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
