i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
