have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
