five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
