1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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