Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
