The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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