All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
