There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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