Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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