I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
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