tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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