I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
