Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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