Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
