your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
