farters have to be the big spoon...
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
