New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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