How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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