If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Can I color on your dick again?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
