i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
