kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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