You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
is that a dick in a sweater?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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