i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize