You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
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