I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
