guys are not supposed to queef...right?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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