there's paper in my vomit.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
