I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
