He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
