The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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