so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
