You're so nebulous sometimes
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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