I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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