we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
