i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
