My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
