were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
