You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
