I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
