I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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