No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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