i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
