Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
