He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
